Yesterday happened like every year since we were young. Yesterday was sad like it always is since you have been gone. I am doing good in my life and I know you sending your beautiful brother to me at the exact moment you did lastnight reminds me your still with me. I have pictures of you now. I love them! I sent them to each boy. They knew it was your birthday yesterday too. They each morn the loss of you differently. One of them said yesterday to his wife. My uncle taught me more about being a man than anyone else in my life. I know you heard that and smiled. I’m so glad for the time you spent with my kids. I watch your oldest child and grandbaby grow via pictures online. You are proud I feel it. Now, your brother, how amazing he is raising your baby!? He has invited me to go see them! He is a great man and I now know why you are so close with him. Thank you for placing him in my life. You are just like him! Its funny really. Well, I love you my dear friend! Until the wheels fall off and the creagers crack……..
Posts tagged ‘Happiness’
Man must search for what is right, and let happiness come on its own.
It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.
Don’t you think about what is your purpose in life? Why am I here? I have been pondering this a lot in my new life. I have wasted many useful years that I can take back or make up for. So, instead of dwelling on what I haven’t done I am trying to think of ways to make a difference. I had this idea to give back to charities that have helped me. My first attempt at doing this flopped and it discouraged me!
I decided to go to a local food pantry to volunteer my time. Mind you I have only gotten help from this one three times! I only went for help when desperate! And many people go to every food pantry every month. Basically using them as they were not intended. I was never one of these types of people. Not that they are bad. But, there are people who abuse charitable giving.
Well, I was so excited to give back and was promptly told no. Because I had gotten help in the past it was a conflict of interest for me to help there. I was saddened. I don’t understand their policy nor have I ever heard of any charity turning down help!
So, my search continues for the right place for me to give back. Until then I shall continue doing little random acts of kindness as I ponder the question what is my purpose in life.
Ok, I was in a rut for a month or so. As far as my blog I neglected it. You see, I felt I was giving minimal posts compared to what I truly am capable of. Let me explain. I blog from my smart phone. So, my posts are not very meaty! Then someone said to me that my blog can be just short stories and such. So, unless I go to the local library I will be producing short but sweet posts.
Briefly why I don’t have a computer is because I left my husband of 25 years in June 2012. I was allowed my clothes. No pictures of my kids when they were babies or nothing. Since then I now own my brand new couch, recliner, flat screen, dishes, and bed. Oh, and I live in a house that is mine. I don’t own it I rent but it is mine! I started mind you with a garbage bag of clothes! So, maybe someday I will get a computer but it’s not a priority for now. But, my blog, my means of self expression is.
The other thing I feel I need to put out there in order for you all to understand me is I am a victim of molestation, abuse, mental and physical illnesses, and I am a recovered addict. I tell you all this not for pity just for you to be able to understand some of my posts. All the past trauma I have suffered at my own hands and the hands of others doesn’t make up who I am today. THOSE ISSUES I HAVE DEALT WITH!
Now, me today, wow what a difference! I walk with my head up and a smile on my face. This process of finding myself has been a long one! I am not done by no means. I will never be done. I change every single day. I am going to evolve into the person I know now I am. And let me tell you she is someone you want to connect with in person and through my posts. I look toward to reading all your blogs too! If you chose to follow me I chose to follow you too!
Hello old friend. I decided that it was time I told you how I really feel about you. I hope you can take all I have to say. It is not going to be all bad but I feel it’s time someone called you up on you progress on your process of self improvement. So, put your big girl panties and read on.
First, you know you are still letting your old friends hang around. You know who they are exactly! Their names are self pity, low self esteem, self doubt, loathing, sadness, pain, heartbreak, broken, and misery. Those friends I see hanging around you still. We talked about this and there is no room or time to entertain them in your new life! I guess you need to go back to putting the alarm on at all times so these intruders stay away from you. Use your words Annette to keep them away. Remember the words like, I am worth it, I love myself, I am beautiful, happiness is obtainable, kindness, grateful, breathe, relax, prayer, meditation, are all words those old friends of yours hate.
Now, you have improved a lot! You need to remember how you use to walk with your head down? You cried all the time until you became a catatonic robot. Gosh, those drug induced stupors you lived in almost brought you to death more than once. Not many people walk away from the traumatic things you have. Wow, you are a miracle! That’s why I writing you. The past few weeks have been rough on you. Barely getting out of bed! I’m so afraid of loosing you. Your journey began in June 2012. Celebrate how far you have came my beautiful friend. Continue healing mentally and take better care of your physical self also. I know your pain is real. Don’t accept that you have to remain that way. Yes, your body is facing illnesses that cause you to become depressed and sad. Keep seeing your doctor and try new methods of healing or easing the pain. Get back to eating right too. Remove the word fat from your mind. Speaking of your mind. Will you really try to start each day with prayer, meditation, and positive affirmations. When you were religiously starting your day that way you were happy everyday.
I’m just asking you to look at you and how far you have come and get out of your rut. Your goals and dreams are happening. Always remember where you came from but keep those dear old friends away.
I’m very proud of you and love you with all my heart. Remember that!
It is Halloween again and I am sitting at my blog awaiting my trick or treater’s. My bowl is huge filled with treats like love for the little orphaned child that may stop by. I have some happiness for the broken abused woman that just may knock at my blogs door. You may even know her? Compassion I have a lot of that in my bowl. I know the elderly man that lives alone in blog # 3, the one that served in the war? Haven’t you seen him walking alone? I have a bit of encouragement for that college student that is far from home and is frazzled from work and school.
The truth is me and my blog have so many treats in our bowl you are sure to get the one the tastes perfectly when you bite into it. You shall be full after knocking on my blog’s door this Halloween.