Well, I have been friends with this person since middle school and he is now dead. I miss him dearly. He always told me how things were. I wore my feelings on my shoulders so, he was extra harsh in his opinions in my eyes. This daily post reminded me of the time he told me how I was REALLY!
It was a normal conversation we were having. We both came from a shady background. I always considered myself as being an”ethical” drug addict. I am clean and sober now. But, that’s a story for another day. Anyway, to be a drug addict you must do something’s that are not so nice in order to get your next fix. The old saying goes “You got to do one of three things to feed your addiction, wheel, deal, or steal.” Sad but true that is how it is.
Now, that sets you with a brief synopsis on my world in my eyes at the topic of what it takes to be an addict. I proclaimed to my friend this about myself. I felt I was an ethical drug addict! After all, in my blurred vision, I didn’t steal, I didn’t barter or trade goods or services for drugs, so I wasn’t a wheeler. And I didn’t deal. (At that point in my addiction I hadn’t done any of that)
I got my drugs with money or for free. Now, my friend says to me.”SHIT, I HAVE WATCHED YOU TAKE A PERSONS LAST DOLLAR AND THEY GIVE IT TO YOU WILLINGLY AND THANK YOU FOR TAKING IT. LEAVING THEM WITH NOTHING.”(he meant metaphorically) In other words I was a con! He said I used my charm to get people to do what I wanted. He said I used people! Oh my gosh was I applaud! He was telling me like it was though. We were in our teens during this conversation and I guess I felt I was really being an addict that had morals and scruples. Wow, I was naive.
Later on in my addition I did end up doing all three of those things in one form or another. My morals and values were gone!
I’m glad to say my life is finally different and drug free. However, I have always remembered his words so I recognize that character flaw popping up in my new life.
My friend called it as he saw it. Sad but true it was………