Hello old friend. I decided that it was time I told you how I really feel about you. I hope you can take all I have to say. It is not going to be all bad but I feel it’s time someone called you up on you progress on your process of self improvement. So, put your big girl panties and read on.
First, you know you are still letting your old friends hang around. You know who they are exactly! Their names are self pity, low self esteem, self doubt, loathing, sadness, pain, heartbreak, broken, and misery. Those friends I see hanging around you still. We talked about this and there is no room or time to entertain them in your new life! I guess you need to go back to putting the alarm on at all times so these intruders stay away from you. Use your words Annette to keep them away. Remember the words like, I am worth it, I love myself, I am beautiful, happiness is obtainable, kindness, grateful, breathe, relax, prayer, meditation, are all words those old friends of yours hate.
Now, you have improved a lot! You need to remember how you use to walk with your head down? You cried all the time until you became a catatonic robot. Gosh, those drug induced stupors you lived in almost brought you to death more than once. Not many people walk away from the traumatic things you have. Wow, you are a miracle! That’s why I writing you. The past few weeks have been rough on you. Barely getting out of bed! I’m so afraid of loosing you. Your journey began in June 2012. Celebrate how far you have came my beautiful friend. Continue healing mentally and take better care of your physical self also. I know your pain is real. Don’t accept that you have to remain that way. Yes, your body is facing illnesses that cause you to become depressed and sad. Keep seeing your doctor and try new methods of healing or easing the pain. Get back to eating right too. Remove the word fat from your mind. Speaking of your mind. Will you really try to start each day with prayer, meditation, and positive affirmations. When you were religiously starting your day that way you were happy everyday.
I’m just asking you to look at you and how far you have come and get out of your rut. Your goals and dreams are happening. Always remember where you came from but keep those dear old friends away.
I’m very proud of you and love you with all my heart. Remember that!
My name is Bella the mini yorkie that lives in the house on the corner. The one with the crazy lady that talks to herself and sings aloud all the time. She runs around in that brightly colored moomoo!
Well, let me tell you she loves and cares for me so good. Even when she has very little to eat she makes sure I have a meal and a treat. She is a giver that one! When she scratches my behind, just above my tale I shake my leg for her and she delights me with a smile and that full belly laugh of hers.
She talks to herself as I said. And, she talks to me. Often she says how much she misses having her family all together again. Her son’s are all grown up with lives of their own. Her grandbaby makes her as happy as I do if not more. If only she could see her more. She talks about maybe getting us a man around the house. I bark at her when she talks non sense! My master is lonely but each day is better for her I can tell.
Often she looks in the mirror and says she looks like a dog!? This I don’t understand I am a dog. I’m beautiful and I know it. I wished I could tell her how pretty she is. I bark when she talks bad about herself. Maybe, just maybe, someday she will see how perfect she is like I ser her. Until then I will be here with her through the ups and downs. Because, to me she is perfect.
I feel horrible today and I just want to feel better. I have caught a bug of some sorts. I am sure that will be over soon. But, some horrible things have happened to me in this past week. I usually never air my dirty laundry or try not to. I want to talk about it all I want to scream to the world what has happened and I have stressed so bad and cried non stop for 3 days…..fyi worse mother’s day ever. I have changed my life. Eventually, you will learn every dirty detail but I really wanted to talk about only upbeat happy things. I can’t I am going to have to write about so touchy subjects. I realized that is why I was guided to this blogging thing. I am supposed to heal. I must not live in the past. I must get better or at least get some understanding and tips from others on how to deal with some things.
I am going back to bed…..read more posts later and try to do my daily prompt but I am telling ya that this girl is not feeling this topics of darn ol love this week…..lol